Real

Smile at something funny,
Laugh and joke aloud,
Inside my soul is crumpled,
Lost within the crowd.

“I’m fine”, is my work statement,
Coupled with a blink,
Yet my mind is ever falling,
Much deeper than you think.

Turn up to work on time,
Never after eight,
Leaving my babies kills my heart,
But I cannot be late.

Anxiety is rising,
Each time I leave my home,
Even in a crowded room,
I feel so all alone.

I wear my mask now daily,
So you will never see,
Darkness that’s inside my head,
The true and wounded me.

For even just a second,
Seeing WHO I am inside,
Would prove to those around me,
I’m not OK – I lied!

I’m chocking on emotion,
As it washes my weak mind,
Yet outwardly I smile away,
My plight to them is blind.

Exhausted and so lost now,
I make the journey out,
Pick up my gorgeous boys,
Then all I do is shout.

All day I’ve filled the box up,
Bit my tongue, just not said,
Smiled and joked with everyone,
Supressed what’s inside my head.

There has to be some release,
It spills out like a tide,
My true self now, is raw, exposed,
It has nowhere left to hide.

Like a withered flower,
No depth is in my form,
Sitting in my self -made pit,
So lost and so forlorn.

By Becky Clemett
7th April 2018